How about some honesty?!
I like the smell of play dough. The store bought variety. No, not that kind of honesty. Weight loss honesty.
Having a baby puts your body through the wringer. My journey started more than 2 years ago when I found out I was expecting our little bug. I weighed in at my first gyno appointment at 159 (yikes, I just posted a number for everyone to read disclaimer: I am 5’8” so you can put that number in perspective. Not technically overweight but getting close). I started the pregnancy much higher than I’m really comfortable at. I can’t blame pregnancy on that number, I can only blame myself. From what I’d read the healthy weight gain in a pregnancy is up to 35. Leave it to me to gain exactly that. I ended my pregnancy at 194!! You don’t know how happy I was to just not see a 2 as the beginning number.
Two weeks into mommyhood I was down to 171. I didn’t do much & it slowly went down to 164 (December 2009). Then early 2010 came, a battle w/ post partum anxiety, a husband working night shifts, full time job, cranky colicky (still at 7-9ish months!!) baby, I let the stress get to me. I drank way too many full fat (we’re talking whipped cream people) lattes, Pepsi & whatever the hell I wanted. I was in a haze & didn’t even realize that none of my pants were fitting anymore. How’s that for honest?
Summer came & I was starting to feel better but the damage to my body was evident. I was pushing 175 when I finally forced myself to step on a scale in July. I started making changes (mildly following weight watchers) and got to my lowest in a long time of 158 (below pre-pregnancy weight!) by late October. Watching those numbers get lower & lower felt AWESOME!
Unfortunately I let myself forget how AWESOME it feels to be happy with the number on the scale. I let the holidays get to me. I indulged WAY too many times in my favorite Peppermint White Mocha from Starbucks. I crave them every year. There’s just something so Christmasy about them. I made way to many cookies. And….I gained the stereotypical 5 holiday pounds and now clock in at 163 .
However, there is a light at the end of this tunnel. My recent holiday slip up taught me that it HAS to be a lifestyle change. I can’t just lose some weight and then go back to my old ways. The weight WILL come back if I don’t continue to stay within a healthy calorie intake. I know that a 5 pound slip up isn’t a big deal, it was Christmas, I can indulge but it’s not getting back on the horse that can make it a big deal. If I hadn’t realized soon enough I would’ve been right back where I started in no time. I decided, after many months of watching Blair have success, that I was going to try Nutrisystem. There are the haters out there but even after just 2 full days, (I started Saturday morning) I can tell that it’s teaching me how to eat. It teaches me how to add healthy proteins, veggies & fruits. It teaches me how much is enough for my main dish. Hate all you want but it’s teaching me how to meal plan & it’s taking a ton of the guess work out of it while I’m learning. Plus, THE FOOD IS ACTUALLY GOOD. It’s not as good as my mom’s homemade sweet & sour chicken or freshly baked pound cake; but I’m pretty sure if it was, it wouldn’t help me lose weight. I had a chocolate muffin w/ my breakfast on Sunday & it tasted like a Costco chocolate muffin. Moist & sweet. But, it was portioned properly & full of good for me fiber & protein.
I’m having a hard time not jumping on that scale to see if any progress has been made. I’m forcing myself to wait the whole week. Saturday can’t come any sooner! For more than 1 reason (yeah, holiday Monday & I’m at work ). I’m going forward with optimism. I’ll check in w/ everyone next Monday.